The Oddness That Surrounds Hyrule Castle
by The Final Keychain Bearer
Summary: This is a little story I put together about the encounters of Link, Dark Link, Sheik, Zelda, and a lot of other random people that dont really belong but make the story more interesting. Hope you enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One: A Dark Day in Hyrule Castle

This story starts after our hero Link saves Princess Zelda (for what, the billionth time?) from the evil Dark Link (yes this story is a bit of a twist from the regular).

After all the exclamations and jumping for joy at the defeat of Dark Link (or so it appeared) everyone went home to get on with their lives. Link walked Zelda to her castle (which was pretty freaking big) to make sure no one would attack her. After he escorted her to the castle gates, he headed for home. Over night the entire castle was enveloped in dark haze that looked eerily familiar….

The next morning:

Ring…Ring…Ring…Ring

_What is that?_

Ring…Ring…Ring…Ring

_Whatever it is it's really getting on my nerves._

Ring…Ring…Ring…Ring

_That's it!! One more time buddy, just give me a reason!!_

Ring…Ring…Ring…Ring

"AHHHHHHHHH!! STOP WITH ALL THE DAMNED RINGING!!." Link screamed. "How am I supposed to sleep with this stupid ringing in my ear!?- Wait a minute, that's just my alarm clock. Why is it ringing now? Its not-Jesus Christ!! I was supposed to meet Zelda TWO HOURS AGO!!

For the next several minutes, our hero Link was getting dressed, eating breakfast (which was a bird he shot and cooked at the same time with his fire arrows), and playing _Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina Of Time _on the Nintendo 64. After he beat the game in 45 seconds flat he left to go meet with Princess Zelda.

The Castle:

"Hey, what's going on here?" Link asked, "I'm supposed to meet Zelda today! Please move out of my way." There was a crowd outside Princess Zelda's castle gates, and after several people were shoved out of the way with the sharp point of his sword Link got a good look at why these people were here. "Dear god, what has happened to this place?" Link wondered. For there, just up ahead was the most ridiculous thing you could imagine.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Weird things begin to happen at Hyrule Castle

We last left our hero gazing at Hyrule Castle, which had become the most ridiculous and ominous thing anyone could have imagined: A castle made of chocolate pudding. OK, now being serious it was actually turned into a huge monument of Dark Link sheathing his sword and sticking his tongue out after killing, you guessed it, our hero Link!

The Castle Gates:

"Link!! Where have you been? The castle has been turned into something horrible and we think Princess Zelda is- Link? Hello?" Link had actually fallen asleep during this little conversation and was now bitch slapped four times by the only person willing enough to do it, Sheik (in this story, Sheik is not Zelda in disguise, just for those of you that have played the game).

"OW!! What the hell was that for?" Link yelled at Sheik

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR? HAVE YOU OPENED YOUR EYES AT ALL LATELY!" Sheik screamed at him. And surprisingly, Link HADN'T opened his eyes at all, which in due earned him another round of bitch slapping from Sheik.

"Will you stop doing that! My alarm clock woke me up and I wasn't feeling to awake until now thank you very much." Link grumbled at her.

"Alarm clock? What's an alarm clock?" Sheik asked. Someone completely unrelated to this story happened to pop out of nowhere and explained to Sheik that an Alarm Clock is a futuristic technology designed to wake people up on time. After explaining this to Sheik, a random meteor exploded into the atmosphere and crushed the completely unrelated person to smithereens. After this little incident everyone's faces in the surrounding area resembled 0.0.

"Well, he wasn't related to this story anyway so who cares?" Another completely unrelated person said, which in turn was blasted to smithereens by another meteor.

"Well now, this is getting too weird. So Sheik, what happened to the castle? Looks new" Link asked, who had finally decided to advance the plot line but had said the wrong thing and earned ANOTHER round of bitch slapping from Sheik.

"We don't know what happened" Sheik said, who was rubbing her hands with some type of lotion because they were peeling from slapping Link so many times. "We just came outside to do some shopping in the market and that ominous statue was already there. And the guards that were stationed outside have no memory of it turning into that, weird huh?" Sheik asked Link, who was nodding off into slumber. Sheik took a metal bat (who knows where she got this from) and nearly hit a home run on Links head but missed and hit a little girl who was sent flying into outer space (later to become know as the first astrogirl in space).

"You know you really need to learn how to control your anger," Link said, which was a HUGE mistake. For the next several minutes Sheik was throwing hidden knives at Link (just because I said she wasn't Zelda, doesn't mean she cant whoop some ass) and could have killed him, but since Link is the main character in this story he can't die just yet but, considering that all the knives just "happen" to miss Link, doesnt mean they missed the other ten people (the funerals will be held one week from now). So after the little episode was over they decided it was time to advance the plot line again.

"Where is Zelda? Is she still in there?" Link asked. He was really worried about Zelda's safety and vowed to save her if it cost him his life.

"Yes we think she is still inside" Sheik said, "But there's no way of knowing if she is still alive so you'll have to go in and search for her Link"

"I always have to do someone's dirty work don't I?" sighed Link, who was actually jumping for joy inside because he was going on another adventure.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three: The Trip Inside!

The Castle Road:

"Ok when I agreed to do this I didn't know it was going to be this hard" Link complained after realizing that there wasn't even a bridge to the castle anymore, which made things A HELL of a lot more difficult then they had to be. "I better be getting a medal for saving your butt this time Zelda!" Link screamed into the heavens, which apparently were listening and decided to scream back at him.

This little screaming contest lasted about twenty minutes. Of course Link won when he flung a rock up into the sky and hit his opponent in the head, who then fell out of the clouds and onto an even bigger, harder rock.

"Damn that GOT to hurt" Link said softly. "Hey buddy! Are you ok?"

"DOES IT LOOK LIKE IM OK? I'M FREAKING BLEEDING FOR CHRISTS SAKE!!" screamed the angry Heaven God, which, when you think about it, doesn't sound very god like. This (which may surprise some of you) Link noticed.

"Hey, why aren't you talking in a deep, dark, somewhat creepy voice? Isn't that what Heaven Gods are supposed to sound like, you've read the books right?" Link asked.

"Oh, ahem, yes I have actually. Well you see I'm pretty new to this god stuff and don't have much experience yet. So if you'll excuse me, I'll let you continue the plot line now." said the now, much less angry Heaven God. And with a great big explosion that was totally unneeded at the moment, disappeared.

"Well wasn't that just dandy of him?" said Link as he was flying at a hundred miles an hour toward the castle walls due to the explosion left behind by the Heaven God. "All I needed to do was GET to the castle walls, NOT BE PART OF THEM!!" Link screamed in terror as he flew face first at a hundred miles an hour straight into the castle walls, but of course, Link can't die yet. So instead of being one with the wall (literally) he flew straight through it (even though Link can't die, I never said he couldn't get hurt. So yeah he's going to feel that in the morning) and landed right into a pit of snakes.

"HOLY –please insert any curse word here-!! SNAKES!!" Link screamed as he wet his pants four times in the only three seconds it took for his brain to tell him to get the hell out of there. Link quickly looked for the exit, found one, and ran the opposite way for some reason. Miraculously, he found himself right beside the castle entrance.

"Well, now that that ordeal is over, lets go inside shall we?" Link said to no one in particular, and headed inside.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four: The Choice is Yours

Inside Hyrule Castle:

The last time we left our hero Link, he was entering Hyrule Castle. As soon as he opened the door he saw that there was a path that split into two different ways. Now, the odd part of this is that each way had a sign on it. The left path said: "This way to Princess Zelda and your ultimate demise!!" The right path said: "This way for our lovely tour of the castle and eventually the throne room where Princess Zelda is being held." There was another sign in the middle of the two paths that said: "The choice is yours".

The Right Path:

"Boy I am glad that I chose this path, it's so nice and slow." Link said as he chose the right path and was taken through the castle at a pace that would have made a turtle look like an Olympic champion. "Wonder when were going to go to the throne room so I can advance the story line." Link wondered. And just then the wall to his right exploded into a million pieces.

The Crab:

"Jesus Christ!!" Link yelled as the debris blew him away. When he regained himself he looked up to see just what the hell caused the entire wall to explode like that. He then saw this GIANT ASS Crab thing that was lurching at him with its HUGE ASS claws. "Couldn't have been easy could it?" Link complained as he drew his sword to fight the Crab.

The Battle:

"Ok you ugly son of a mother's Crab!! Come and get me!!" Link yelled as the Crab charged toward him. Link jumped ten feet into the air (don't know how, don't care) and did a front flip over the Crab. The Crab charged straight into the wall opposite of the one it exploded, and exploded it. As the debris cleared, Link looked around to see where the Crab had gone.

"Must have run away with its claws between its legs, HA!" Link gloated as the Crab silently descended from the ceiling. Just then, for no apparent reason, Link decided to look up and voila! There was the Crab about to chop his head off when a random Zora came running through the room singing at the top of its lungs.

The Distraction:

"I've got a jar of dirt, I've got a jar of dirt, I've got a jar of dirt, I've got a jar of dirt." The Zora was singing as it ran around the room over and over. It was actually holding a jar of dirt in its hands for some unknown reason. Link and the Crab were staring very confused at the prancing Zora. Link actually had an electric charge in his head (for some of you (Link), that's called an idea) and decided to take this opportunity to kill the Crab. Link took his sword and rammed it into the Crabs head, but as it turns out the Crab was still above Link and it collapsed onto him.

"Ugh, should have thought that through before actually doing it." Link moaned as the Crabs weight began to crush him.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five: GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!!

The Predicament:

"GET THE HELL OFF OF ME YOU STUPID CRAB!!" Link screamed at the Crab, who's weight was beginning to crush him. "I've got better things to do than to sit around all day and have some two ton Crab crushing me, so GET OFF!!" Link screamed again, and somehow (cause it was dead) the Crab actually got off of Link and then exploded into confetti for some reason. "Well, that was nice" Link said as he got up and ran down the hallway.

ANOTHER Predicament:

" I knew I should have stopped and ask for directions at that booth, now I'm lost!" Link said as he was dangling off the side of the castle. "Wait a minute, how did I even get up here!! WHY ME!!" Link screamed at the heavens, which of course, were listening again and decided to scream back at him.

This time the contest lasted about thirty minutes. It ended when one of the Heaven Gods threw a lighting bolt at Link's ass, and knowing anyone who gets shot by lighting, screamed in agony and jumped up the cliff to put his ass out in some water that just "happened" to be lying around.

"What the hell was that for!! I didn't do anything to you!" Link screamed as he put his flaming ass out.

"Didn't do anything? Where do you think I got this giant lump on my head from then!?" The same Heaven God (mentioned in chapter three) yelled back at Link.

"Oh its you, hey wait a minute I should be yelling at YOU! That little explosion back there nearly killed me!!" Link said as he shot an ice arrow at the Heaven Gods wings, which froze on contact. Then he plummeted to earth and landed on ANOTHER bigger, harder rock then before, and began to twitch.

"Uh oh, better get out of here before someone sees me." Link said as he began to advance the story line again and went to the throne room.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six: The Throne Room Door's Password

The Door:

"Hey look a door." Link said as he came across the door to the Throne Room where Princess Zelda was being held captive. "Wonder how I open it" Link wondered as he picked his nose for no apparent reason.

"Stop that!! That's disgusting!" a voice said.

"Who, What, Where!! Who said that!!" Link screamed at no one in particular.

"You, your nose, here, and I said that, over here! NO OVER HERE YOU DUMB-ASS. THE TALKING DOOR." the Door said as Link looked inside his brain (ew).

"Oh, well why couldn't you have said that earlier? And did you know that my brain is the size of a grain of rice? Cause I sure as hell didn't." Link said as the Door was about ready to throw him across the room.

"Will you shut up and let me talk?" the Door said angrily. "If you want to pass me your going to have to figure out this riddle: What is red, white, blue, and shaped like a rectangle?"

"A newspaper!! Wait no is it a dog? A cat? Ooh I know!! Is it a cake? It's a cake, a cake, is it a cake right? I'm right! It's a cake. It's a cake!! It's a cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake!!" Link answered, but by this time the Door had wished he had shot himself when Link said a dog.

"If it wasn't right the first time, WHY THE HELL WOULD IT BE RIGHT THE NEXT SIXTEEN TIMES!!" the Door yelled at the top of its lungs. "I have never met anyone as stupid as YOU before! It's a freaking flag you DUMBASS!! How hard can it be, it isn't Rocket Science!!"

"Well you have obviously never met me before or you would know JUST how dumb I am, and what is Rocket Science anyway?" Link asked, and same as before, someone completely unrelated to the story came out of nowhere and explained to Link what Rocket Science was. Then this completely unrelated person jumped out of a nearby window for no reason what so ever.

"Hey wait!!" Link yelled as he rushed over to the window just in time to see the person get smashed by a random meteor that just "happened" to be passing through the air and was blown to smithereens. After this, Link and the Door's faces resembled 0.0's.

"Were going to pretend that never happened" Link said. "Ok, so the answer is a flag, will you let me through now?" Link asked the Door.

"LET YOU THROUGH!? YOUR LUCKY I DON'T COME AND CRUSH YOU BETWEEN MY DOORS RIGHT NOW YOU FREAKING IDIOT!!" the Door screamed at Link, who was getting tired of being insulted and rammed his sword in the Door's brain.

"Ow" the Door said as it exploded, sending Link flying out the same window the completely unrelated person had just jumped out of and toward a very unwilling death.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven: Dire Peril

We last left out hero Link plummeting to his death after an explosion cause by the Door when Link rammed his sword in its head and was blown out of a nearby window (which he now regrets doing).

The Fall:

"You know, I've always wanted to go skydiving, BUT NOT LIKE THIS!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Link screamed at the top of his lungs as he fell twenty stories (I forgot to mention that the castle was really, REALLY huge) to his apparent death.

"I've got you!!" a voice said as Link was jerked from the air at the last possible moment by a hidden knife, and pinned against the castle walls.

"Hey thanks- wait a minute. A hidden knife!! Is that you Sheik?" Link asked as Sheik approached from the shadows.

"Well duh. Who the hell else would it be? Jackie Chan?" Sheik said as she took the knife out of Links clothes, who then fell into a ditch full of snakes.

"AHHHHHHHHHH, SNAKES!! Can you get me out of here!! And who the hell is Jackie Chan?" Link asked as Sheik threw a rope down the ditch so Link could grab on.

When Link was finally out of the ditch, someone completely unrelated to this story poofed from out of nowhere and explained who Jackie Chan was (by now, I hope some of you have guessed that this completely unrelated person is a sort of dictionary for the characters). After he was done he pressed a button on his chest, which in turn exploded and sent Sheik and Link flying through the air.

"Have you ever noticed that every time we have a question about something not of our time that person comes and explains it, then ends up dying in some weird way?" Sheik asked Link after they landed safely, who was picking his nose. "WILL YOU STOP THAT!!" Sheik yelled at him, then bitch slapped him five times and threw him in the ditch with the snakes.

"Ok!! I'm sorry! Just GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!! PLEASE!!" Link pleaded as Sheik threw another rope into the ditch.

"Ok, now that your safe again we will need to get back up to the Throne Room. Any ideas?" Sheik asked Link.

"None what so ever. Wait, actually yeah I do. When I first went inside I took the right path, which took FOREVER and led me to a giant ass crab (that I killed) and then led me to a talking door that needed a password." Link explained. "I kind of pissed the Door off an it yelled at me, so I rammed my sword in its head."

"Then what?" Sheik asked.

"Well the door exploded and sent me flying out the window, and that when you came." Link explained.

"Well. It would actually help if you told me your IDEA on how to get back to the Throne Room." Sheik said in a dark tone.

"Idea? What idea? I was just telling you what I went through the past few hours. There was also this Heaven God that I killed by accident-" Link continued, but was cut short when a metal bat (don't know where it came from) connected with his jaw.

"YOU KILLED A HEAVEN GOD!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!" Sheik screamed at him angrily. "That's the ultimate offense!! If you were to die right now you would be sent to the darkest pits of Hell!! Link? Hello?" Sheik poked Link, who was out cold on the floor. "Guess I hit him to hard huh. Well, up we go" Sheik said as she picked Link up and went inside Hyrule Castle.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight: The Trip Inside! (Again)

Outside Hyrule Castle (again):

"Will you wake up already, I didn't hit you that hard you know" Sheik said as she carried Link on her back into Hyrule Castle.

"Ugh, my aching head, what happened?" Link said in a groggy voice. "That's right, you hit me with a bat!! What is wrong with you? I could have been severely hurt for all you know!! I DO have SOME brain cells you know." Link said as Sheik dropped him in another ditch for no apparent reason.

"If all your going to do is complain then you can stay there!! I'M going to save Princess Zelda ALONE if you won't shut the hell up and stop complaining." Sheik said angrily.

"Oh, uh, ok" Link said in a small voice. "Can you get me out now please? I think something just crawled up my leg."

As Sheik helped Link out of the ditch they headed to the part of the castle that split into two ways.

"Last time I took the right path which led me to a giant Crab and an exploding talking Door." Link explained. "Lets see what the left path has in store for us."

The two walked down the left path and up several stairs, but before they were halfway through it they entered a chamber. As they walked to the middle of the room the doors behind them closed and a GIANT HUMONGO DRAGON LIKE THING exploded from the floor and flew into the air.

"JESUS CHRIST!!" Link screamed as he drew his sword shakily. Sheik was equally afraid but did not show it as she drew her sword as well.

"Well, what do you suppose we do?" Link asked Sheik, who was charging at the Dragon thing, which just swept her aside with its giant tail as if it were a dust bunny.

"AHHHHHH!!" Sheik yelled as she flew straight into the wall nearest to her and nearly broke all her bones. Link tried to run to her help but was blocked by the Dragon like thing.

"OK!! YOU WANT SOME OF THIS!! THEN YOU GOT IT!! AHHHHHHHHH!!" Link yelled at the top of his lungs as he charged the Dragon. When it tried to sweep him away with its tail, Link front flipped over it and rammed his sword into the tail. The Dragon screamed in agony and split its tail into TWO, and the second one slammed into Link with crushing force against the wall.

"_Damn it, why couldn't I have been faster?" _Link thought as he was crushed against the wall by the Dragon's tails. "_Why couldn't I have saved Sheik, or myself for that matter. Why couldnt I have eaten that candy bar in my pocket before? What will happen to it?" _

The Dragon was beginning to put all its pressure on its tails to crush Link completely against the walls.

"_Why, why couldn't I save anyone?" _More pressure "_Why was I chosen for this?" _The walls around him were beginning to crack. "_I knew I shouldn't have done this! When will the author of this fanfiction finish the story? _WHEN MAN WHEN!!" Link yelled as the wall he was being crushed upon exploded through.

"_Do not be afraid, I've got you_." a voice inside and outside of Links mind seemed to say. "_It is not your time to die, you are the main character of this story so you will live." _As soon as that was said, Link was lifted from the air and carried safely back to the chamber.

"What, what happened?" Link asked, but was cut short of his next question when he saw a Shadowy figure rose up in front of him and give him a smile, then turn around to the Dragon. All the Shadow Figure had to do was look at the Dragon, and the Dragon instantly knew it was going to die and decided to go all out before its demise. It had decided to breathe in as much air as possible and let it out in the form of a huge fireball, but before it had sucked in any air, the Shadow Figure moved at the speed of light and slashed the Dragon in the throat. All the fire that was going to be mixed with the air exploded outward from the slash and the Dragon began to explode. The Shadow Figure walked over to the exploding Dragon and turned to Link again.

"_In your darkest time of need, you will not be alone, but you will most likely need a light." _the Shadow Figure said, then the Dragon exploded completely, leaving nothing behind but the darkened area on which it had stood.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine: The Penultimate Chapter

The Stairs:

"Really I mean come on. First we run into this killer Dragon monster, then a Shadow Figure comes from out of the blue to save our hides, now this?" Link complained as he carried the unconscious Sheik to the Throne Room through ten flight of stairs (has to be killer on his feet. Whew! Glad I'm not him 0.o). "Not that I'm not grateful that we're BOTH still alive, it's just that my feet hurt so damn much!"

"I told you, if you kept on complaining I would leave without you and save Zelda and the castle by myself." Sheik grumbled as she stomped on Link's foot for no good reason.

"OW!! Ok I'll stop just please don't do that again!" Link pleaded. "So, are you ok now? Can you walk?" Link asked, which for some reason earned him a bitch slap in the face. "Damn it! STOP IT WITH THAT WILL YOU!!"

"Of course I can walk, heck I can even slap you now, so yeah I say I'm feeling better." Sheik said happily as she sidestepped Link and pushed him down the ten flight of stairs just for the hell of it.

It took Link about thirty minutes to catch up with Sheik again. He had decided not to talk to her in case she threw him out window for no apparent reason like she threw him down did the stairs.

They had reached the Throne Room. It was time to end this once and for all. But if you've read up to this chapter you'll probably guess something random will happen to delay our hero from his quest (good guess! Hadn't figure it out myself yet) and yet make another chapter for you to read.

"We are finally here." Sheik said as they approached the doors. "Does something seem out of place to you? I mean think about it. All of the other incidents led us down this path, against a Dragon monster that nearly killed us, but now its quiet, too quiet (he he).

"Yeah I get what your saying, but we don't have any other choices now do we?" Link said, which in retrospect is probably the smartest and bravest thing he had ever said in his life.

"I'm with you all the way." Sheik said as they opened the doors at the same time, but of course here is where the randomness comes in.

"What the hell?" Link and Sheik said in unison, for when they opened the door to the Throne Room, it wasn't the Throne Room they were walking into; it was the door to HELL!! Ok now being serious, they ended up in a room filled with total darkness that blotted out all light.

"Grab my hand!" Link said to Sheik whom he thought was close by. "We don't know what's going to happen so its best we stay together!" but as Link said this something DID grab his hand, but it was not Sheik's own. This hand was scaly and slimy (like the food Link prepares on Friday's (yuck)). "Is this my Tuna Surprise!?" Link said as he grabbed the hand and sniffed it for some reason, then gagged. "No, but it sure as hell smells worse."

The scaly and slimy hand let go of Link's and roared in anger (from what, being compared to Link's disgusting Tuna Surprise? If so then Link is SO screwed) and a terrible wind began to swirl around the room at dangerous speeds.

"Damn it! I can't see anything!" Link said, and then got smacked in the face by a flying…cow? (randomness, gotta love it. Told you didn't I?). After he regained himself he tried to see a little strand if light that could help him but could not find any.

"Will this help?" a voice said, and a small "clicking" sound was heard. The entire room was filled with a bright light and Sheik was seen standing in the corner holding her finger against the wall.

"Light switch, why didn't I think of that?" Link grumbled, but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw what was in the middle of the room. "Just what the hell are you?" he whispered, for what was in the middle of the room would have broken even Frankenstein's face. It was a giant frog/ toad monster that had huge rolling eyes like an iguana (come to think of it, it blended in with the surroundings, so maybe it was an iguana) and was about thirty feet tall and wide.

"Couldn't have been easy could it!" Link and Sheik said together as they charged toward the frog/ iguana monster. The hybrid did not even recognize them as threats and croaked loudly, which sent reverberations around the room at high frequencies, nearly liquefying Link and Sheiks brains (don't ask, not sure if that's even possible, if it is, then right on!).

"This isn't going to be easy is it?" Link asked, and for once Sheik did not bitch slap him, or try and harm in any way. She actually agreed with Link (shocked audience) and admitted that this could be their last battle together.

"If that's true, then lets make the best of it!" Link said encouragingly and charged toward the hybrid again, this time wearing earmuffs (yeah who knows where they came from, just go with it). The hybrid saw Link coming for him and jumped high into the air. It was about to land on Link and Sheik (thirty feet wide, so yeah BOTH of them) and pound them into dust when a blinding light came forth and stopped the hybrid in mid air.

Both Link and Sheiks faces resembled 0.0's for several seconds as the Miracle Light completely dominated the frog/ iguana by tossing it higher into the air, then dropping it flat on its back, and finally dropping some salt onto it (yeah, considering the frog/ iguana size, pretty damned big salt shaker don't you think?) When it was done destroying the monster it rose up into the air right above it, gave Link and Sheik a quick flash (supposedly a smile) then turned back to the monster and said: "You just got PWNED!!" and then exploded, taking the monster with it (along with that portion of that castle for some unexplainable reason).

"You know, this story is getting way to unpredictable" Link said, which again in retrospect, may be the smartest things he said ever, and continued on through the door that just happened to "appear" from no where with Sheik at his side. Together, they were going to confront their final enemy, and put an end to this at last.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten: The Beginning Of The End:

ANOTHER Stairway:

"Seriously, why do all of these dungeons and castles have a monkey load of stairs to climb?" Link complained as he and Sheik began to walk up thirty flights of stairs (triple what it was last time O.O).

"What did I say about complaining?" Sheik said as she took out her paddle (this little device is used to spank Link when he complains, which happened several times in between chapters (little events that I decided not to put in)).

"Oh god, not the PADDLE!! NOOOOOOO!!" Link screamed as he ran up the stairs that would make a rocket ship tilt in shame (I don't know, this is off the top of my head here :D). He then slipped and fell off a stair (cause he wasn't smart enough to hold on to the railing (duh)) and fell down the ten flights of stairs he had just covered in thirty seconds flat.

"You ok?" Sheik asked

"Think so. Wait what are you doing!? No! NOOOOOOOOO!!" Link yelled as Sheik raised her paddle.

The next several minutes for Link included: cries of pain, begging god to kill right now and then, trying to bribe Sheik, and just plain crying, (some of these are actually the stages of denial for people in their death beds. I don't know all of them and I also twisted it a bit). After the paddling was over, the pair continued up the flight of stairs.

"OMG, we finally made it" Sheik said as Link rubbed his backside.

"Yeah. Hey wait, what's that up ahead?" Link asked, for he saw a pair of solid golden double doors.

"It's the Throne Room you idiot!" Sheik yelled at him. She was about ready to bitch slap him when the doors opened by themselves! (O.O  which is exactly what Link and Sheik's faces resembled). After the little scene was over, the pair walked inside.

The Throne Room (finally):

"So THIS is the Throne Room, how nice." Link said as the pair walked to the center of the room, completely oblivious to what lurked above them (which was a teeny spider. Just thought I would put something in for the hell of it) and stopped as they reached the center.

"So, you're the experienced one here. What happens now?" Sheik asked Link.

"Well, normally the main bad guy comes from out of no where (preferably the wall) and taunts us. Then he sets one of the most dangerous beats he has on us to try and kill us." Link explained.

"Go on" Sheik prodded

"Then we kill it, and finally we go up against the Big Boss and put an end to his evil reign and this unpredictable story." Link finished, and just then, Dark Link appeared from behind them.

The pair had no clue that Dark Link was behind them, so Dark Link cleared his throat, and still nothing (mostly because Link still had his earmuffs on, and Sheik just didn't want to advance the story line).

"AHEM!! TURN AROUND YOU IDIOTS!! I'M RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!" Dark Link yelled.

"Jesus!! When did you get here?" Link said, which earned him a sword swipe (which missed of course) from Dark Link. Sheik pretty much wasn't paying any attention what so ever and left the two alone.

"I've come to put an end to your pathetic little lives once and for all!" Dark Link said in a dark voice. "Prepare yourself Link! And come at me with everything you got!"

"You asked for it!! AHHHHHHHH!!" Link cried as he charged at Dark Link.

The next several minutes consisted of Link and Dark Link: battling each other, taunting each other, laughing at the others mistakes, and playing….Gold Fish for some reason…..(-.-).

"Got any six's?" Link asked Dark Link.

"Nope, Go Fish."

"Do you think we should advance the story line again? I bet some of these readers are like: "WTF!! STOP PLAYING GOLD FISH AND KILL EACH OTHER!!" Link said.

"Yeah sure. I got nothing better to do anyway." Dark Link agreed and drew his sword.

"Hiya! Take that!" Link said as he sword swiped at Dark Link, which missed utterly and made Link fall over. "Oh crud, I'm boned." Link said as Dark Link stepped over him and raised his sword for the finishing blow.

"Any last words before you die?" Dark Link said, giving Link enough time to think of a question (which took about five minutes for those of you wondering).

"Yeah, what does "WTF" mean? I said that without realizing that I didn't know what it meant." Link said, and for those of you that have read this far you know what's about to happen (if you don't then stop reading this very moment!! And read the other chapters OVER!).

As mentioned so many other times before, a completely unrelated person to this story appeared from thin air and explained what "WTF" means to Link, then, as he was about to die in some ridiculous way, Link grabbed Dark Link (who was busying picking his nose while the completely unrelated person talked to Link) and the C.U.R.P (if you cant figure that out then please kill yourself (don't!! or I would have any more reviewers :D)) and chucked them both out of a window that conveniently happened to be next to them.

"WHAT!! NOOOOOOOOO!! WTF WAS THAT FOR LINK!! DAMN YOU!!" Dark Link screamed as he fell about fifty to sixty stories. And since the C.U.R.P was with him, a random meteor exploded into the atmosphere and headed toward the pair. "You've got to be kidding me. This is BULL-" Dark Link was about to say, but was of course cut short when the meteor rammed into them and blasted them both to smithereens.

"Whew, glad THAT is finally over. Hey wait a minute! Where's Sheik?" Link said as he looked around for her. It didn't take long to realize that Sheik had been sleeping the entire time Link and Dark Link dueled. "JUST WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING!! YOU COULD HAVE HELPED YOU KNOW!!" Link yelled at her.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Well you were doing so well, so I didn't want to mess up your lucky streak." Sheik said as she got to her feet.

"Yeah whatever. So it's finally over. What do you want to do now?" Link asked, which earned him the BIGGEST bitch slap of his life.

"What the hell do you think!! We need to save Princess Zelda!" Sheik said as she ran to the door that appeared to hold Zelda.

"Looks like we need a key." Link said, and just then, a random Zora (same one) pranced into the room singing the same song as before.

"I've got a jar of dirt. I've got a jar of dirt. I've got a jar of dirt. I've got a jar of dirt." The Zora sang, and as before it WAS holding a jar of dirt, but this time inside was a…a….KEY!?

"Hey you!! Get over here with that jar!!" Link and Sheik yelled in unison, then chased down the Zora. In about five minutes the Zora was twitching in a corner (you REALLY don't want to know what happened) and Link and Sheik opened the door with the key.

Inside was Princess Zelda playing _Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time_ on Nintendo 64. As the door opened, she jumped and accidentally killed Link (in the game of course, cause then that would pretty much contradict this entire story if she had actually killed him now wouldn't it?).

"Oh, hey Link!" Zelda said happily (she didn't say hi to Sheik because for some reason she disappeared). You're just in time to! You were going to take me out to dinner remember?" she said.

Link was so confused at what she just said. "Zelda!! Have you any idea how long its been since then!?"

"Of course silly, it's only been a few an hour since. Right on the dot to. So come on and let's go!" Zelda said as she ran out the room.

Link was so confused at the moment, that he checked the watch that he never seemed to have until this very moment and voila! It had only been an hour since his alarm clock woke him up this morning.

"Son of a bitch, she was right. Oh well. Coming!" Link said as he finally ended the story line and had his dinner with Zelda, as if the previous hour's events had never existed (just goes to show how random this story really is).

"Hey Link, what's that thing on your wrist?" Zelda asked as they finished their dinner.

"This is a watch" Link said, then stopped and asked, "Wait, what the hell is a watch anyway?" and like SO MANY times before, the C.U.R.P. appeared from thin air, explained that a watch was sort of a mini alarm clock, then was blasted to smithereens by meteor that was passing through the air at the time. Everyone's faces in the surrounding area all resembled triple 0.0's.

"THIS STORY IS GETTING TO UNPREDICTABLE!!" everyone yelled together, and then was blasted to smithereens by a random meteor for no apparent reason.

_**THE END!**_

Authors ending note: Thank you all for reading this story. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. This was actually my first story, and hopefully not my last! If you are reading this, and think this is a great story, please tell your friends about it and get as many people to review as possible! I want to be inspired to write more stories that people will actually like and review. Until next time!!


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